A Peach In The Stream

A dream,A horrible dream,Life is a horrible dream.
So bad the odds, so bleak the hope, so close the edge, and so high the fall.

A dream A terrible dream Life is a terrible dream

Look! How few the righteous,how many the wicked,how short the good times, and how long the bad.

A dream,A frightful dream,Life is a frightful dream.
Where consolations lie behind a sea of fire,where refuge hides behind a mountain of swords,where the way is encroached by thorny vines, and where lies comfort more than truths.

A dream,A confusing dream,Life is a confusing dream.
We ask: “what is my purpose?” “How can I achieve it?” “When will it finally end?” “Why must is it be me?”

A dream, An endless dream,Life is an endless dream.
Forever bewildered by “What”, Forever daunting the “how”, forever afraid of “When”, and forever saddened and infuriated by “why”.

A dream,A sad dream,Life is the saddest dream.

I remember when I was young I dreaded nightmares more than anything. The dreams used to seem so real. Haunted house, the death of some one dear, exams which you are not prepared for, apocalypse, war, and not to mention, being naked in school!!!

I've only recently noticed, ever since I turned a teen, my nightmares do not seem to scare or trouble me too much anymore. I did a bit of thinking on this issue and I came out with two propositions.

One, it might be that I have grown out of believing in ghosts and supernatural beings. And as for being naked... let's just say it's no longer an "end of the world" thing to me and I might just enjoy it!!

Secondly, it could be that the hardships and disappointments in the real life had hardened my heart encrusting it in a hard cocoon. Like an old carpenter, the long years of laboring and working on wood has left him with a pair of rough hands. All the little injuries from cuts, splinters, bruises and blisters had hardened the skin, protecting the delicate flesh behind it.

Could the same be said about the real life? Do our falls and injuries make us stronger? Is the old saying true, do things which do not kill us makes us stronger? Hardly! I was looking at a photo of myself taken when I was 15, there's that look of youth, of hope, pride, confidence and aspiration common in every boy. I looked like I was ready to take on Everest with nothing but the clothes on my back and live to tell of it. But now as I look myself in the mirror, I see but an ordinary man, aged terribly by the falls and hardships handed to me by life. In a matter of a few years, my pride and confidence has been watered down, every ounce of hope and aspiration knocked out of me with each cruel blow. Just a few months ago I greeted adulthood with a heavy heart, I entered its door with my head hung low, dragging behind me a mountain load of despair and worries. It is not a good start to a utopia that I have craved for so much as a green and fresh teen, "the world will be very different when I'm finally an adult!", "can't wait to grow up!", I shivered with disgusts at the ignorant fool that was me. If I have known then...

The matter of fact is, unlike our nightmares, in the real world we can't just wake up and wipe the sweat from our foreheads and thank God it was only a dream. So one is left to wonder how many more blows can our fragile minds take? How long more can we last before the towel is thrown and the white flag raised?

For now I can only take refuge in this chapter.

Psalm 13
1How long wilt thou forget me, O LORD? for ever? how long wilt thou hide thy face from me?
2How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart daily? how long shall mine enemy be exalted over me?
3Consider and hear me, O LORD my God: lighten mine eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death;
4Lest mine enemy say, I have prevailed against him; and those that trouble me rejoice when I am moved.
5But I have trusted in thy mercy; my heart shall rejoice in thy salvation.
6I will sing unto the LORD, because he hath dealt bountifully with me.